I'd like to think I'm a modern day Ben Franklin. Actually, that's not true. I'm just a chud that feels as if writing should be occurring but has writer's block. In fact, this intro is taking more than 5 minutes to write. I'm sure I'll think of something soon. For now, enjoy my good/bad/ugly original one-liners.
-Steve
-The chaplain wanted to know what the hell I was doing in there and I told him. Even if he had had a problem, I had a gun on and all he had was a bible. I think I'd have won that fight.
-It's rough going through life without a compass, but sooner or later we all find our way.
-I'm going to be a nudist eventually so I can scare people and save money.
-The only sure thing in life is that there is no sure thing.
-The future isn't what it used to be..."
-'Twatever', said the penis to the vagina.
-I don't care if it turns into Cruel Intentions 3 in this motherfucker.
-I know what it's like to live. That's the bottom line. I'm living right now. One mistake at a time.
-On a not so bright note: Don't drink Absinthe by the bottle. Bad things happen and your friends are like, "What the fuck, dude?!?!"
-Fucking broads who'be been raped too many times by daddy and can't stay away from McDonalds were everywhere.
-You have to give a little to take a little and you have to be able to cope with other people not thinking like you. That or you can just go buy a gun and off the non-believers.
-I'm a one fork man and definitely not someone who should plan a wedding.
-Life sucks when you turn the subtitles on.
-A thousand times more money is spent by our government every year for the purpose of extinguishing life instead of preserving it.
-Somewhere along the way you were all blinded, robbed of your intelligence, and fed way too much fried chicken.
-Note to future death or black metal hopefuls out there: Pre-recorded synth is gay, it sucks, and gets you nowhere. It does not enhance your sound and in no way is it cool or 'hardcore'.
-Life is like scratching your ass and picking your nose with the same hand. Bad decisions stink long after they've been made.
-When life throws a curve ball, charge the mound and kick that motherfucker square in the nuts.
-93.3 the Bone is gone. The station went from classic rock to the likes of the Gin Blossoms. Anyone who scats over guitar should be killed.
-Asking the Right Wing to show us how to be fiscally responsible is like going to Stephen Hawking for jogging tips.
-Who knew that the word "scat" would go from being a jazz term to a porn genre that is dedicated to eating feces?
No comments:
Post a Comment