Saturday, March 20, 2010

Kill the President

So there I was, enjoying a peaceful day watching Batman cartoons with my son, when all of a sudden I got the urge to check my Twitter account. I saw a barrage of posts regarding the upcoming Healthcare vote in Washington. Needless to say, there is more than enough nonsense being spread like an epidemic across this here interweb, but the worst is in the picture above. Those of you who know me personally, and all three of you who read this blog regularly, know that I'm 100% supportive of free speech. I'd like to (naively) think that my service in the Navy helps prolong the 1st Amendment Right of every American. That being said, I'm thoroughly disgusted with the image above and here's why:

For all of the 20th Century, no one would ever dare to openly threaten the lives of the President or members of the Senate or House. For all of the Red-scaring, Gay bashing, Nigger hating, and anti-Catholic (think Kennedy) scum there were out there, no one was marching with "Kill the President" signs en masse in front of the White House. Yes, they're entitled to do so, but here's where the double standard comes into play.

Protesting peacefully has always been a tough gig. As peaceful as people have been (especially during the Vietnam Era and for the last 20 years), nine times out of ten it ends in a huge cluster and innocent people trying to exercise their rights get beat down to the pavement and/or arrested. Think Kent State, the 2000 DNC, Seattle, early 2003 when we marched against the impending war in Iraq. It's always rough if you're fighting injustice and your viewpoint is coming from the left.

My main flashback I want to put out is in 2001/2 (I can't remember which, and I'm too lazy to Google because I'm on a roll, Jack) when some New Yorkers were ARRESTED for wearing t-shirts that said, "Give Peace a Chance". But that was socially acceptable because the Bush Regime was in power. Whitey was in charge, so the little man gets shit on. Now that ::gasp:: a brown guy is in the office, it's no holds barred. President Obama is a peaceful, CARING leader (hence HEALTHCARE REFORM), and he's just plain not like the men who held the office before him.

The people in the photograph above are exactly like the genius group that formed the KKK. They are offended that an "inferior" person is in charge. There is no gap between the lesser person and them. In their minds, the kitchen is the only room in the White House that a black man should be working in. Today they proved that by shouting epithets at Mr. John Lewis (if you don't know who he is, shame on you and take your ass straight to Wikipedia). This isn't about Right or Left, Democrat or Republican, it's about race.

The terrible irony in all of this is that these people are screaming any word that ends in "ism" at this whole thing and praising the Right at the same time. They don't see that healthcare reform is desperately necessary (probably for MOST of the people protesting it, i.e. My Name Isn't Really Joe and I'm Not Really a Plumber, Joe the Plumber) and it's for the good of the People. It's for US. It's a way to make sure that no matter what, if your kid breaks an arm, you don't have to dip into his college fund to send him into an orthopedic surgeon.

If you want to see true American Fascism, take a peek at the Christian Church's influence on politicians and legislation. Look at the previous administration and the "Acts" they "shoved down our throats" as Fix'd News would say if they were on OUR side. Look at the blatant racism and bigotry that pours out of the Republican Party. Look at the rights they've taken and realize that they've given us NOTHING in return. That, my friends is fascism. That is what I speak out against. That is what ruined the economy and put unnecessary strain on my family and friends. But in all of that, never once did I call for the assassination of President Bush. Because unlike these people say they do, I really do believe in Democracy.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

My Grandmother & Gay Marriage (The Million Dollar Question)

So my grandmother (and believe me, I love her to death) is your textbook 85 year old southern woman. She's been a Baptist her entire life, and the south has done wonders for her beliefs. Every single conversation we have turns into a political or theological debate with interjections of "Well, Rush said..." or "I heard on Rush the other day...", so you can imagine how wonderful it is to talk to her.

She called today and in between asking me about the weather, my health, and my kids, we got into a discussion about gay marriage. I can't remember quite what started it, but I remember myself mentioning the cherished New Covenant that my main man Jesus Cristo brought to the table in the New Testament. I was explaining to her that the New Covenant voided everything in the Old Testament. I guess i'll start there:


Me: ...And that's another thing - Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. Not one word.

Her: Well, everyone's going to have to stand before God in the...

Me: Right, but this whole gay marriage debate is preposterous. Why shouldn't they be allowed to get married?

Her: Well, you remember Sodom and Gomorrah. That was...

Me: OLD TESTAMENT. That was the wicked and jealous God, not the new fluffy "I love you" God from the New Testament.

Her: Jesus and God are one person...

Me: Yes, but you have to see that there was quite a character change when you flip from the Old to the New. In the Old, God was killing people, destroying the earth with floods, wrecking cities, etc.

Her: But Sodom and Gomorrah. That's where the word sodomy came from because you KNOW what those people were doing...

Me: Okay, but what about gay marriage? Should it matter whether or not two guys want to get married?

Her: I can't judge, that's up to God. Everyone will have to stand before God on Judgement Day.

Me: So you're saying you can't judge or tell these people what to do? Because to me, the majority voting on minority rights is pretty stupid. And it's not a church issue either. If a church won't marry two people of the same sex, that's fine. That's their business. The government isn't going to force churches to perform or recognize marriage ceremonies. Separation of Church and State comes into play. Now if there are churches that want to be involved, and that offends you, just don't GO to those churches. It's that simple.

Her: Only God has the final say.

Me: So you're going to vote "YES" if the issue ever shows up on the ballot in Colorado, right?

Her: What???

Me: Since it's only up to God to judge a person's actions and it doesn't affect you one way or the other, if the issue is ever on the ballot, you're going to vote "YES" so those people have the same rights as everyone else, right?

Her: ...We're just going to have to disagree...


From there it went back to the normal conversation.

This is a prime example of why there's no reasoning with these people. They regurgitate the filth that Limboob and Beck spew through the airwaves and think that Leviticus is completely relevant to modern issues.

These are the people that think that anything having to do with "progress" and moving forward is evil. The same progress that freed the slaves, desegregated schools, allowed women to vote, brought child labor laws etc. They feel that this impedes our goal. Our goal of what, I don't know, but there's something that bettering ourselves will cause that these far right crazies are terrified of. There's something about equal rights for other people that has them hiding under the covers at night.

When I figure out what this horrible thing is, I'll be the first to let you all know. Have a nice evening.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Steve Gets Political (From October 13th, 2009)

I'm tired of all of this. Everything. I'm tired of 'liberal' this and 'conservative' that and I'm tired of the goddamn hillbilly teabaggers running around screaming about words they can't even properly define.

A long time ago, a group of men came together and formed an idea of a government by the people and for the people. 234 years ago, today, the Continental Navy was commissioned and a big step towards reaching independence was taken.

So the journey began, to fight for the rights of EVERYONE. The 'certain inalienable rights' of ALL men, which are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So many men and women have fought and died so that we can all take our fat American dollars and buy stuff we don't need. So we can stuff our fat faces and sit on our fat asses and watch the View and American Idol and MAURY. Let's not forget about Maury.

But I digress. I don't want to get on a pop culture tangent. Let's talk about the word 'liberal' and the stigma attached to it. Do you not think that our forefathers were liberal? I don't think sparking a revolution and challenging the throne of England could be deemed 'conservative'. And that crazy Abe Lincoln fellow who freed the slaves. Slavery was quite the 'conservative' concept.

The definition of conservative is this: "disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change."

In effect, slavery, Jim Crow, monarchies, lynching, witch hunts, and many other things are all 'conservative' practices and ideas.

The definition of liberal is this: "favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs."

Or we can go a step further and list the politcal definition: "favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties."

So it would seem to me, that to gain any progress in this country, we need to be progressive and LIBERAL in our actions. There can be no change if we stay conservative in our ideals. We can't continue to grow as a people and develop as a nation without progress or liberal thought. Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Franklin, Hancock, Paine - these were all liberal men who had liberal thoughts and ideas. They founded a liberal nation and wrote a liberal Constitution.

We can amend the Constitution to make things better. To better our lives and our nation. It was written that way. It was written so that it could adapt to fit the needs of the country and her people as time moved on.

Certain administrations (in my opinion, all of them in the last few decades) have violated this sacred document and enforced 'Acts' under the guise of national security. They threw this blanket facade over these 'Acts' claiming they were for our benefit, when in reality they were slowly stripping away our civil rights and liberties.

Don't get me wrong, there are amendments and acts and executive orders that have provided great things for the people of this country. Women and minorities can now vote, black people are no longer slaves, and they are counted as a whole person and not 3/5 of a person, de-segregation, etc.

Now here we are today, bickering over the public healthcare issue. Uninformed, uneducated people are being poked and prodded in the wrong direction by rich, fat, white people with radio shows. These people are throwing around words that they can't even define because that's what we've been taught to do.

Communism and Socialism and Fascism and Dictatorships have become synonymous with 'evil' in this country. They've just plain become synonymous which is offensive in and of itself. I don't have time to nitpick and define all of these terms, but they are all different to a large degree. The USSR was a communist country. Communism was 'evil' because the US of A couldn't profit from a communist nation. Because the USSR has 'socialist' in the title, socialism became identical to communism in the American mind.

Just because a communist dictatorship calls itself socialist, doesn't make it so. Governments lie about things all the time. Like the Patriot Act for instance. There is absolutely NOTHING patriotic about that ridiculous thing. Nothing.

That being said, I will define socialism: "a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole."

Nowhere in there does it say that leaders can't be chosen by the people. There is no invisible law or rule that states that there is no such thing as a socialist democracy. There's no law or rule that says that a socialist country must live in fear and under the fist of the government.

And "vesting in the community as a whole" is evil? Is this really such an awful thought? Is having a nation of people working together to make sure that EVERYONE is prosperous such an evil idea? Isn't that what we wanted? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all American citizens? EVERYONE working together and reaping the rewards of their toil, instead of the 1% that enjoys the fruits of our labor right now?

This country already has a multitude of socialist practices. We have public education, social security, welfare, medicaid, medicare, public universities, grants, etc.

England, Australia, Canada, and most of Western Europe are all, by definition, socialist nations. They are also democracies.

I know what some might be thinking right now - "I've talked to Canadians/Britons that hate it." I've got news for you - there are always going to be people who don't like things. That's just the way it goes. But when all you have backing your argument is a statement like "someone I know says...", you are ignorant. There's nothing different between doing that, and the guy that prefaces a 'nigger joke' with "I've got black friends." or "I heard it from a black guy." It's all ignorant.

The Public Option is unconstitutional? READ the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence and tell me where it says that public healthcare is off-limits. IT DOESN'T. In fact, I can pretty well guess that if they had had the means to do so, our government would have provided public healthcare to begin with. They didn't have the means to do so. The difference between them and us is now we DO have the ability to enhance the lives of everyone in this way.

Sure, there are going to be faults and setbacks, but there are faults and setbacks with every government program. It's the government. But why waste time and put this off any longer? What will it hurt? WHO will it hurt? Nobody. Nobody at all.

People sat back and cheered as we tossed $3 trillion down the drain with a war on foreign soil that didn't benefit a single American, but there are practically riots in the streets now that the government is proposing to spend less the a THIRD of that amount on something that will most likely save lives AND money.

I don't understand it. Maybe I'm not meant to. Or maybe it's because I'm a crazy "Commie Bastard". That's it. We social libertarians are just fascist communists in hippie clothing.

Sincerely Yours,

Steve Stalin

Empty Words (From October 18th, 2009)

One thing I've noticed in my short tenure on this planet, is politicians, be they student council hopefuls or presidential candidates, like to make promises and take stances that seem to be forgotten once they take office. I remember a certain girl whose platform in middle school was based solely on extending our lunch period by ten to fifteen minutes. The Republicans like to talk about making abortion illegal to appeal to all of their religious followers and the Democrats like to talk about going green and beefing up education. But once elected, these things never seem to get done.

Most of, if not all of these things are quite attainable. Maybe not the absurd quest to abolish a woman's right to choose, but the other things are definitely doable. This brings me to a serious issue which was brought up over and over again last year during the presidential race - Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Then, Senator Obama spoke out repeatedly against this policy and swore up and down that he would do his best to get rid of it as soon as he took office. Here we are, nine months and counting, and it's still in effect.

I understand that the economy is beyond wrecked and the War on Error is still going strong. We've had to deal with Guantanamo and healthcare, Teabaggers and Peace Prizes. All that aside, all it takes is one swoop of that Presidential Pen and an Executive Order can be passed that wipes DADT off the books.

Many people are arguing over the logistics of such an act. I don't see why. I don't see why there's so much uproar over gays in the military to begin with. There are a TON serving right now. Whether or not they're open about it is irrelevant. We know who they are. I can look back over the last six years and tell you exactly who was gay and who wasn't. It's the worst kept secret in the world.

I remember when I joined, I signed dozens of papers that in effect, said "You can BE gay, you just can't act that way. If you are caught engaging in homosexual acts, you can and will be punished under the UCMJ..." Dozens of pages of nonsense that had absolutely nothing to do with my physical or mental competency or the job I had chosen to do in the military. What other job has a contract like this? None of them do. Why? Discrimination. So why is the federal government allowed to discriminate based on sexual orientation?

The senseless homophobia in this country is deterring some of our best servicemen and women from re-enlisting. It's giving people ridiculous ideas about what would happen if gays were allowed to serve openly. One of which is the idea that rape incidents would increase. This is completely absurd and unfair.

The religious right is assuming that someone's sexual preference makes them aggressive and prone to sexual assault. Let me ask you this: As a heterosexual man/woman, when you see someone of the opposite sex and you find them attractive, so you force yourself on them? When you ask someone out and they say "no", do you beat them up and rape them? I didn't think so.

I think I speak for most men in the military when I say I don't give a shit whether or not one of my coworkers is gay. We've got more important things to worry about than whether or not so and so likes it in the back door. It's not even an issue and the idea that it would be is laughable. I care about whether or not they show up on time and do a decent job. I care about whether or not they've got their quals up to date and if they know what they're doing in their jobs.

I understand that there are still going to be prejudiced, ignorant people that want to give homosexuals a hard time. They will be dealt with. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment is sexual harassment, regardless of who the perpetrator or victim is. Hazing is hazing and hate crimes are hate crimes. I don't want those people in the military. Again, they will be dealt with.

It's going to be a long, rough road ahead, but we might as well start the journey now. President Truman de-segregated the military with an Executive Order back in 1948 and it took a LONG time for things to settle in the ranks, but without that order, where would we be? The same goes for homosexuals. It's not going to be easy, but the sooner we take care of this problem, the sooner things will calm down.

So let's do it, Mr. President. Let's get rid of a dumb policy that is nothing more than a joke anyway. Let's allow the men and women that fight for this country the right to stop hiding who they are from everyone. It will cost you nothing short of some ink and a few pieces of paper. It won't cost you votes in the next election, because the only people that will hate it are the ones who didn't vote for you last year either. What are you waiting for?

Apostrophe Abuse (From Monday, January 18th, 2010

If the sarcasm isn't bleeding through your monitor, know that this is a real concern of mine that simultaneously criticize's and satire's.

Apostrophe Abuse is a dangerous thing. It is killing the English language. Apostrophe's are delicate little thing's. They can't just be thrown around like they're nothing. They serve two, count them, TWO major purpose's. There are other's, but the main one's are what we'll cover today.

An apostrophe is generally used to combine two word's into one word, thus making a contraction. "can't" is a great example, can and not or "cannot" being combined there. The second most popular use is to make a noun possessive. "Steve's" is a great example of that, Steve being the owner of noun x.

Apostrophe's DO NOT MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. They are not used to pluralize word's. So that annoying shit I've been doing for the last few paragraph's is not correct, or "apostrophe abuse". If this abomination of a note hasn't irritated you already, then you really are thick and have no business operating one of them computer gadget thing's.

*edit* It just dawned on me that some of you dolt's might not know what the word plural mean's. Plural mean's make something more than one.

There are a very small few of us out there that can read and write properly and we take pride in that ability. Although there are only a few of us, we are angry, and we are laughing. If you don't believe me, just hop over to Thanks and have a great Monday.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Memorable Personal Quotes from Yours Truly

I'd like to think I'm a modern day Ben Franklin. Actually, that's not true. I'm just a chud that feels as if writing should be occurring but has writer's block. In fact, this intro is taking more than 5 minutes to write. I'm sure I'll think of something soon. For now, enjoy my good/bad/ugly original one-liners.


-The chaplain wanted to know what the hell I was doing in there and I told him. Even if he had had a problem, I had a gun on and all he had was a bible. I think I'd have won that fight.

-It's rough going through life without a compass, but sooner or later we all find our way.

-I'm going to be a nudist eventually so I can scare people and save money.

-The only sure thing in life is that there is no sure thing.

-The future isn't what it used to be..."

-'Twatever', said the penis to the vagina.

-I don't care if it turns into Cruel Intentions 3 in this motherfucker.

-I know what it's like to live. That's the bottom line. I'm living right now. One mistake at a time.

-On a not so bright note: Don't drink Absinthe by the bottle. Bad things happen and your friends are like, "What the fuck, dude?!?!"

-Fucking broads who'be been raped too many times by daddy and can't stay away from McDonalds were everywhere.

-You have to give a little to take a little and you have to be able to cope with other people not thinking like you. That or you can just go buy a gun and off the non-believers.

-I'm a one fork man and definitely not someone who should plan a wedding.

-Life sucks when you turn the subtitles on.

-A thousand times more money is spent by our government every year for the purpose of extinguishing life instead of preserving it.

-Somewhere along the way you were all blinded, robbed of your intelligence, and fed way too much fried chicken.

-Note to future death or black metal hopefuls out there: Pre-recorded synth is gay, it sucks, and gets you nowhere. It does not enhance your sound and in no way is it cool or 'hardcore'.

-Life is like scratching your ass and picking your nose with the same hand. Bad decisions stink long after they've been made.

-When life throws a curve ball, charge the mound and kick that motherfucker square in the nuts.

-93.3 the Bone is gone. The station went from classic rock to the likes of the Gin Blossoms. Anyone who scats over guitar should be killed.

-Asking the Right Wing to show us how to be fiscally responsible is like going to Stephen Hawking for jogging tips.

-Who knew that the word "scat" would go from being a jazz term to a porn genre that is dedicated to eating feces?