Thursday, March 4, 2010

Apostrophe Abuse (From Monday, January 18th, 2010

If the sarcasm isn't bleeding through your monitor, know that this is a real concern of mine that simultaneously criticize's and satire's.

Apostrophe Abuse is a dangerous thing. It is killing the English language. Apostrophe's are delicate little thing's. They can't just be thrown around like they're nothing. They serve two, count them, TWO major purpose's. There are other's, but the main one's are what we'll cover today.

An apostrophe is generally used to combine two word's into one word, thus making a contraction. "can't" is a great example, can and not or "cannot" being combined there. The second most popular use is to make a noun possessive. "Steve's" is a great example of that, Steve being the owner of noun x.

Apostrophe's DO NOT MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL. They are not used to pluralize word's. So that annoying shit I've been doing for the last few paragraph's is not correct, or "apostrophe abuse". If this abomination of a note hasn't irritated you already, then you really are thick and have no business operating one of them computer gadget thing's.

*edit* It just dawned on me that some of you dolt's might not know what the word plural mean's. Plural mean's make something more than one.

There are a very small few of us out there that can read and write properly and we take pride in that ability. Although there are only a few of us, we are angry, and we are laughing. If you don't believe me, just hop over to Thanks and have a great Monday.

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