Wednesday, August 24, 2011

When it Rains, it Pours...

...Except in Texas.  The only rain here is the metaphorical rain that I was alluding to in the title; the rain that you poor fucks are going to read about if you stick around.  This is especially awesome, considering that my last post was three days before Rick Perry's prayer for rain and the skies have only cracked for a total of 36 hours or so in the last four months.  But enough about God not being real...

I have gone through an obscene amount of shenanigans at work and away from work.  OBSCENE.  The work thing has fixed itself pretty alright, but the not-work shenanigans have just started.  The last week and a half has been a blessing and a curse for me.  A blessing because I re-found my emotions and felt alive for the first time in forever, and a curse because it all came crashing down before it had even begun.  <-----Sounds like a cliche song lyric, but it's totally true.

24 of those aforementioned 36 hours of rain occurred on the best night of my life.  I met someone who is everything I'd ever wanted.  She is someone that I knew didn't exist.  Pack my personality into a five foot nothing, disgustingly hot, tattooed Mexican girl, and there it is.  Physical and mental perfection.  I know most people say, "I don't want someone exactly like me.  Who wants to date themselves?  Who wants to have sex with themselves?"  Well, (masturbation jokes aside) I want to date myself, and I've totally fucked "myself" and it was the best sex I've ever had.

All that dumb shit you see in the movies - this was it.  That connection so strong that people do dumb shit like sacrifice themselves for a person they just met - this was it.  That horribly ghey Jack and Rose Titanic bullshit - this was it.  I had met the love of my life and she had met hers.  The next week was incredible, so much so that I broke every rule and principle I had established over the last few awful years.  I was (still am, actually) ready to marry this girl.  Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Then, last Friday, it imploded.  She freaked out and broke it off because of a lot of other shit she's got going on in her life.  At least that's what she says.  My money is on her getting scared.  Her only flaw, like every other woman I've been with, is making poor choices when it comes to men.  This, by the way, is one of the dozens of principles I violated - I will no longer try and be Mr. Fix it to women with more baggage than a Samsonite factory.  So, she freaked out and flipped shit, because contrary to popular belief, I'm a fucking sweetheart when I care about a woman.  I don't think she's used to being treated like a person, let alone a person who means everything to someone.  It scared her and she used the first excuse she could find to distance herself from it.

I don't blame her, but this whole chain of events has completely turned my world upside down.  I went from an eternity of not feeling anything to feeling everything in just a few days.  Who knows what will happen or where it will go.  What I know is that in spite of it being completely illogical, my door will always be open for her.  Times like these make me wish there really were an afterlife or reincarnation or whateverthefuck.  I don't think eternity is long enough to satisfy my need of being with her.