Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Benevolence? Really?

I'll spare you the dictionary definition of benevolence partly because if you're reading this and don't know the meaning, you should probably close your browser.

I'm writing today to piss and moan yet again about the walking contradiction that is the "average Joe Six Pack" as Ms. Palin would call him. I was driving into work today and saw a very interesting back window on (big surprise) an SUV. Before I could safely take a snapshot with my Droid, the vehicle had turned into a parking lot. There were three bumper stickers on the back: On the bottom right corner was the Kenyan Village Idiot sticker that neo-con birthers think is so clever. On the bottom left corner was a sticker that had "ROFLMAO" with the Os being the Obama O that was used in the campaign. Taking up the rest of the window, in the center, was a cross-laden sticker that said one word - "Benevolence."

Putting my feelings towards the absurd e-acronyms like "LOL" or "ROFLMAO" aside, I just want to repeat that yes, a conservative SUV driver had a giant sticker that said "Benevolence" atop his racist anti-Obama stickers. Just thinking about it again makes me chuckle and even more upset that I wasn't quick enough on the draw with my phone. Allow me to light a cigarette and let's break this down, shall we?

Benevolence is a charitable act in/of good faith, the word coming from the Latin bene meaning "well, honorably" etc. The actual Latin is benevolentia. I sort of lied when I said earlier I wasn't going to get all Merriam-Webster in this post, but it has to be done to get my point out. Moving on....

I see how this is a completely appropriate Christian bumper sticker. Overlooking the few times that Jesus lost it or said something violent and completely out of character, good old Yeshua was the very essence of benevolence. He was a Gandhi/Robin Hood hybrid in Bronze Age Birkenstocks. He oozed charity and good will. So why, my friends, are all of his followers opposed to this President? Why are they opposed to things like taxes and healthcare reform? Why do they think it's okay to be bigoted, polluting sacks of waste in the name of Iesous? And if you're wondering, yes, I am going to drop a different translation of Cristos every time I mention him...

These are the people that only care about the oil spill because it's going to effect their pocketbooks. These are the people that protest government programs that help the underprivileged. These are the people that hate paying taxes. These are the people that oppose everything that threatens "The White, Christian, male power structure" as Bill O'Reilly so kindly put it. And they have the balls to cruise around in their gas guzzler with a big sticker that has a cross and the word BENEVOLENCE?!?!?!?!? Really?

1)We are only as good as our weakest link, so if there is just one person starving without a place to live in this country, how good are we? Because in my opinion, even one is too many.

2)I'm tired of right wing/corporate rationalization regarding the oil spill. All this nonsense about however many billions of gallons per hour of "fresh, clean" water get pumped into the gulf from the Mississippi River. Like the new water is just going to negate the oil that's there already. How about this, Mr. Limbaugh: I'll give you a 32oz bottle of water and you can drink it. But there's a catch.... there's 1ml of cyanide in there. Would you drink it? I didn't think so.

3)And finally, taxes. My favorite verse from the Buy-bull of all time is Matthew 22:15-22. I don't know why, maybe because we were poor when I was a kid, but whatever my reasoning, it's the most profound statement in the entire book:
----Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. "Teacher," they said, "we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"
But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax."
They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"
"Caesar's," they replied.
Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.----

While I think the Constitutionality of income tax is completely debatable, it shouldn't matter if you are a Christian. Or any rational human being for that matter. Money doesn't matter. The whole economy is fake anyway. It's imaginary. Someone made this shit up because we're not evolved enough as a species to be able to function properly without some currency-based economic system.

So all you crazy people with benevolence stickers need to support green energy. Support fixing the oil spill and cleaning it up properly because it's the right thing to do, not because it might cost you money later on down the road. Pay your fucking taxes and don't bitch about it when you do! Eeso said so! And put yourself in someone else's shoes next time you talk real big about how you think welfare and other programs are just a waste. Know that the majority of these starving children were born into a life of poverty, they didn't choose it.

If you don't want to do all of those things, maybe you should stop sticking big words that you don't understand all over the back of your car. Just a thought.

Your Corporate Conservative heroes have tricked you into becoming everything your Savior would despise. If there's one thing Jesus didn't like, it was hypocrites. So do me a favor - open your eyes and take a look at the world you're helping them create.

"When fascism comes to America, it will be draped in the flag and carrying a cross." ~Sinclair Lewis

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Inhale. The smoke rises with the morning sun. One more in a series of days that ends when it should be beginning. This isn't the answer. Grain alcohol fused with the sweet carcinogenic kiss of nictotine should sweep the insomnia away but it just slows the wasted moments. Inhale. Stuck between the laissez-faire existentialism consuming each passing minute and the naive dream of making a difference and cherishing each second, he dies with each breath. Time goes on; life passing by with a slow burn that won't speed up but will never stop. Somewhere in the middle of dream and reality, the end so close he can almost touch it, he realizes that this is it. This is all there is. No more, no less. There is no going back. Alea iacta est. Exhale.