Little Dr. Paul

As I'm sure none of you have heard, Dr. Rand Paul refused to answer the question about the age of the Earth last week. This willful ignorance is the most aggravating thing in the world. Just answer the question, dude! If your politics are straight, who cares if you think the world is 6000 years old? As much as I hate religion mixing with politics, I think there are more pressing issues at hand than whether or not you think Gandalf's clone shit out the planet a few millennia ago.

As a medical doctor, not having the answer should be something Dr. Paul should be used to... at least that's what my 130 episode marathon of House M.D. tells me. Get an answer. Be wrong. But have a goddamn answer! Even Sarah Palin made some shit up when they asked her how she had foreign policy experience.

Again, not an attack on religion. I understand that if you want to get elected in this country, you're going to have to pick a fairy tale that you subscribe to to get elected. The meager 18% of us Americans that are naturalists can't carry the election for you, so I get that. But ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Taking pride in not knowing something, or refusing to answer a question because you're scared it might offend someone is unacceptable. I can guarantee with 100% accuracy that there is always going to be someone sensitive that is going to be offended or disagree with any opinion that you have.

As a politician you should always have an opinion. Whether it's right or wrong is irrelevant. As an aspiring presidential candidate, Dr. Paul should figure this out if he wants more than just a fringe vote. Zeus help us if he actually gets elected. Who knows what issue will come across his desk that he sits on because he has no opinion, or is "just not going to answer that question." How are people going to know what your stance is if you don't take one?

Best Video Ever

Benevolence? Really?

I'll spare you the dictionary definition of benevolence partly because if you're reading this and don't know the meaning, you should probably close your browser.

I'm writing today to piss and moan yet again about the walking contradiction that is the "average Joe Six Pack" as Ms. Palin would call him. I was driving into work today and saw a very interesting back window on (big surprise) an SUV. Before I could safely take a snapshot with my Droid, the vehicle had turned into a parking lot. There were three bumper stickers on the back: On the bottom right corner was the Kenyan Village Idiot sticker that neo-con birthers think is so clever. On the bottom left corner was a sticker that had "ROFLMAO" with the Os being the Obama O that was used in the campaign. Taking up the rest of the window, in the center, was a cross-laden sticker that said one word - "Benevolence."

Putting my feelings towards the absurd e-acronyms like "LOL" or "ROFLMAO" aside, I just want to repeat that yes, a conservative SUV driver had a giant sticker that said "Benevolence" atop his racist anti-Obama stickers. Just thinking about it again makes me chuckle and even more upset that I wasn't quick enough on the draw with my phone. Allow me to light a cigarette and let's break this down, shall we?

Benevolence is a charitable act in/of good faith, the word coming from the Latin bene meaning "well, honorably" etc. The actual Latin is benevolentia. I sort of lied when I said earlier I wasn't going to get all Merriam-Webster in this post, but it has to be done to get my point out. Moving on....

I see how this is a completely appropriate Christian bumper sticker. Overlooking the few times that Jesus lost it or said something violent and completely out of character, good old Yeshua was the very essence of benevolence. He was a Gandhi/Robin Hood hybrid in Bronze Age Birkenstocks. He oozed charity and good will. So why, my friends, are all of his followers opposed to this President? Why are they opposed to things like taxes and healthcare reform? Why do they think it's okay to be bigoted, polluting sacks of waste in the name of Iesous? And if you're wondering, yes, I am going to drop a different translation of Cristos every time I mention him...

These are the people that only care about the oil spill because it's going to effect their pocketbooks. These are the people that protest government programs that help the underprivileged. These are the people that hate paying taxes. These are the people that oppose everything that threatens "The White, Christian, male power structure" as Bill O'Reilly so kindly put it. And they have the balls to cruise around in their gas guzzler with a big sticker that has a cross and the word BENEVOLENCE?!?!?!?!? Really?

1)We are only as good as our weakest link, so if there is just one person starving without a place to live in this country, how good are we? Because in my opinion, even one is too many.

2)I'm tired of right wing/corporate rationalization regarding the oil spill. All this nonsense about however many billions of gallons per hour of "fresh, clean" water get pumped into the gulf from the Mississippi River. Like the new water is just going to negate the oil that's there already. How about this, Mr. Limbaugh: I'll give you a 32oz bottle of water and you can drink it. But there's a catch.... there's 1ml of cyanide in there. Would you drink it? I didn't think so.

3)And finally, taxes. My favorite verse from the Buy-bull of all time is Matthew 22:15-22. I don't know why, maybe because we were poor when I was a kid, but whatever my reasoning, it's the most profound statement in the entire book:

----Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. "Teacher," they said, "we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax."

They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"

"Caesar's," they replied.

Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.----

While I think the Constitutionality of income tax is completely debatable, it shouldn't matter if you are a Christian. Or any rational human being for that matter. Money doesn't matter. The whole economy is fake anyway. It's imaginary. Someone made this shit up because we're not evolved enough as a species to be able to function properly without some currency-based economic system.

So all you crazy people with benevolence stickers need to support green energy. Support fixing the oil spill and cleaning it up properly because it's the right thing to do, not because it might cost you money later on down the road. Pay your fucking taxes and don't bitch about it when you do! Eeso said so! And put yourself in someone else's shoes next time you talk real big about how you think welfare and other programs are just a waste. Know that the majority of these starving children were born into a life of poverty, they didn't choose it.

If you don't want to do all of those things, maybe you should stop sticking big words that you don't understand all over the back of your car. Just a thought.

Your Corporate Conservative heroes have tricked you into becoming everything your Savior would despise. If there's one thing Jesus didn't like, it was hypocrites. So do me a favor - open your eyes and take a look at the world you're helping them create.

"When fascism comes to America, it will be draped in the flag and carrying a cross." ~Sinclair Lewis

Untitled

Inhale. The smoke rises with the morning sun. One more in a series of days that ends when it should be beginning. This isn't the answer. Grain alcohol fused with the sweet carcinogenic kiss of nictotine should sweep the insomnia away but it just slows the wasted moments. Inhale. Stuck between the laissez-faire existentialism consuming each passing minute and the naive dream of making a difference and cherishing each second, he dies with each breath. Time goes on; life passing by with a slow burn that won't speed up but will never stop. Somewhere in the middle of dream and reality, the end so close he can almost touch it, he realizes that this is it. This is all there is. No more, no less. There is no going back. Alea iacta est. Exhale.

Hungover Philosophy: What comes next?

I can't get over how much the death question pops up whenever I have a theological debate with someone. The need to live in complete an total fear of absolutely everything is something that I don't share with the majority of the population.

My fears are real and semi-legitimate from my own perspective, but ludicrous to other people. At least my fears are tangible. I don't like tight spaces, poisonous insects or snakes, and I have an irrational fear of water. I am not, however, afraid of death. I'm not afraid of ghosts, ghouls, goblins, spirits, poltergeists, demons, curses, sorcery, gods, devils, etc. because they don't exist.

The popular question I face on at least a weekly basis is, "So what happens when you die?" That's kind of a dumb fucking question because nobody alive has died yet.

"I want to live! That's the whole secret of Life: NOT DYING! I figured that shit out alone in the third grade." ~George Carlin

Now what do I think will happen when I die? I'm assuming the normal decomposition process for the physical me, and as for the mental me, I guess the lights just turn off. I think it'll be just like when you're given general anesthesia at the doctor and you just conk out, but this time you're not going to wake up. How arrogant and cowardly is it to assume that we're going to continue on in some zany spiritual form after this insignificant life we've been given? Why is it so rough for people to comprehend that we're no better than any other life form on the planet?

Is ceasing to exist depressing? It all depends on how you look at it. I'm not trying to speak Clintonese and dodge the question, but really what is existence? In a first person sense, there was nothing before I was born. Sure, the world was here, people were alive, the universe, blah blah blah, but from my own perception, existence itself didn't start until I was born. Even then, I don't remember too much from the first few years of my life, so really my own existence starts about three years after I was born.

So again, is death depressing? The truth is, it is depressing when I first think about it, but only a little and for very selfish reasons. I would like to live forever because it's all I know. I enjoy life most of the time and I'd like to live as long as possible, but everyone dies. And really, when we die, we don't know we're dead. We don't know that we've lived. When your brain shuts down, that's it, man. That's it. So it's kind of hard to be butt hurt over something (life) you don't have the capacity to remember ever having.

I just don't see a reason to spend my short life fretting over what might happen when I die. To drudge through your entire life preparing for the next is so absurd and counterproductive. What happens when you waste all this time getting ready for your spiritual transformation and nothing happens? Why throw something so precious away on an uneducated gamble that the next one will be better?

Kill the President

So there I was, enjoying a peaceful day watching Batman cartoons with my son, when all of a sudden I got the urge to check my Twitter account. I saw a barrage of posts regarding the upcoming Healthcare vote in Washington. Needless to say, there is more than enough nonsense being spread like an epidemic across this here interweb, but the worst is in the picture above. Those of you who know me personally, and all three of you who read this blog regularly, know that I'm 100% supportive of free speech. I'd like to (naively) think that my service in the Navy helps prolong the 1st Amendment Right of every American. That being said, I'm thoroughly disgusted with the image above and here's why:

For all of the 20th Century, no one would ever dare to openly threaten the lives of the President or members of the Senate or House. For all of the Red-scaring, Gay bashing, Nigger hating, and anti-Catholic (think Kennedy) scum there were out there, no one was marching with "Kill the President" signs en masse in front of the White House. Yes, they're entitled to do so, but here's where the double standard comes into play.

Protesting peacefully has always been a tough gig. As peaceful as people have been (especially during the Vietnam Era and for the last 20 years), nine times out of ten it ends in a huge cluster and innocent people trying to exercise their rights get beat down to the pavement and/or arrested. Think Kent State, the 2000 DNC, Seattle, early 2003 when we marched against the impending war in Iraq. It's always rough if you're fighting injustice and your viewpoint is coming from the left.

My main flashback I want to put out is in 2001/2 (I can't remember which, and I'm too lazy to Google because I'm on a roll, Jack) when some New Yorkers were ARRESTED for wearing t-shirts that said, "Give Peace a Chance". But that was socially acceptable because the Bush Regime was in power. Whitey was in charge, so the little man gets shit on. Now that ::gasp:: a brown guy is in the office, it's no holds barred. President Obama is a peaceful, CARING leader (hence HEALTHCARE REFORM), and he's just plain not like the men who held the office before him.

The people in the photograph above are exactly like the genius group that formed the KKK. They are offended that an "inferior" person is in charge. There is no gap between the lesser person and them. In their minds, the kitchen is the only room in the White House that a black man should be working in. Today they proved that by shouting epithets at Mr. John Lewis (if you don't know who he is, shame on you and take your ass straight to Wikipedia). This isn't about Right or Left, Democrat or Republican, it's about race.

The terrible irony in all of this is that these people are screaming any word that ends in "ism" at this whole thing and praising the Right at the same time. They don't see that healthcare reform is desperately necessary (probably for MOST of the people protesting it, i.e. My Name Isn't Really Joe and I'm Not Really a Plumber, Joe the Plumber) and it's for the good of the People. It's for US. It's a way to make sure that no matter what, if your kid breaks an arm, you don't have to dip into his college fund to send him into an orthopedic surgeon.

If you want to see true American Fascism, take a peek at the Christian Church's influence on politicians and legislation. Look at the previous administration and the "Acts" they "shoved down our throats" as Fix'd News would say if they were on OUR side. Look at the blatant racism and bigotry that pours out of the Republican Party. Look at the rights they've taken and realize that they've given us NOTHING in return. That, my friends is fascism. That is what I speak out against. That is what ruined the economy and put unnecessary strain on my family and friends. But in all of that, never once did I call for the assassination of President Bush. Because unlike these people say they do, I really do believe in Democracy.

My Grandmother & Gay Marriage (The Million Dollar Question)

So my grandmother (and believe me, I love her to death) is your textbook 85 year old southern woman. She's been a Baptist her entire life, and the south has done wonders for her beliefs. Every single conversation we have turns into a political or theological debate with interjections of "Well, Rush said..." or "I heard on Rush the other day...", so you can imagine how wonderful it is to talk to her.

She called today and in between asking me about the weather, my health, and my kids, we got into a discussion about gay marriage. I can't remember quite what started it, but I remember myself mentioning the cherished New Covenant that my main man Jesus Cristo brought to the table in the New Testament. I was explaining to her that the New Covenant voided everything in the Old Testament. I guess i'll start there:

----

Me: ...And that's another thing - Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. Not one word.

Her: Well, everyone's going to have to stand before God in the...

Me: Right, but this whole gay marriage debate is preposterous. Why shouldn't they be allowed to get married?

Her: Well, you remember Sodom and Gomorrah. That was...

Me: OLD TESTAMENT. That was the wicked and jealous God, not the new fluffy "I love you" God from the New Testament.

Her: Jesus and God are one person...

Me: Yes, but you have to see that there was quite a character change when you flip from the Old to the New. In the Old, God was killing people, destroying the earth with floods, wrecking cities, etc.

Her: But Sodom and Gomorrah. That's where the word sodomy came from because you KNOW what those people were doing...

Me: Okay, but what about gay marriage? Should it matter whether or not two guys want to get married?

Her: I can't judge, that's up to God. Everyone will have to stand before God on Judgement Day.

Me: So you're saying you can't judge or tell these people what to do? Because to me, the majority voting on minority rights is pretty stupid. And it's not a church issue either. If a church won't marry two people of the same sex, that's fine. That's their business. The government isn't going to force churches to perform or recognize marriage ceremonies. Separation of Church and State comes into play. Now if there are churches that want to be involved, and that offends you, just don't GO to those churches. It's that simple.

Her: Only God has the final say.

Me: So you're going to vote "YES" if the issue ever shows up on the ballot in Colorado, right?

Her: What???

Me: Since it's only up to God to judge a person's actions and it doesn't affect you one way or the other, if the issue is ever on the ballot, you're going to vote "YES" so those people have the same rights as everyone else, right?

Her: ...We're just going to have to disagree...

----

From there it went back to the normal conversation.

This is a prime example of why there's no reasoning with these people. They regurgitate the filth that Limboob and Beck spew through the airwaves and think that Leviticus is completely relevant to modern issues.

These are the people that think that anything having to do with "progress" and moving forward is evil. The same progress that freed the slaves, desegregated schools, allowed women to vote, brought child labor laws etc. They feel that this impedes our goal. Our goal of what, I don't know, but there's something that bettering ourselves will cause that these far right crazies are terrified of. There's something about equal rights for other people that has them hiding under the covers at night.

When I figure out what this horrible thing is, I'll be the first to let you all know. Have a nice evening.